I think I’ve worked something out. I can made do with either my health, something to do (a purpose, or even “chill”), or being somewhere I feel at home. Here on my own this evening (I passed on dinner because of not feeling well) I felt I had none of these. I was feeling very poorly again (head and stomach), had nothing to drive myself with (the main mission is over, and we’re just waiting to leave), and I was not in a place I feel comfortable in. I was a bit of a mess and the Khmer music that seems to constantly play in the background {I since found out it was wedding music that plays non-stop for 3 days after a wedding} was driving me nuts. I used the iPod recorder for the first time, and all it was for was my own poor feelings. I had an interesting few hours of headspace, but began to come to terms with life again after listening to some of MY music (for the first time since leaving) and reading some good immersive Pratchett and Bryson.

This time of feeling ill and down will pass.

Room 23, "Prum Tep Guest House"
Tbeng Meanchey, Preah Vihear province
Cambodia

This afternoon we have to ourselves, and tomorrow we leave for Siem Reap. I can’t say right now that I’ll be sad to leave.

Some of us wandered around the local market place briefly. The whole area was quite large and very dank and not nice. It’s not at all like the comparatively tourist-friendly markets of Phnom Penh. It was a hard shock again that in a real sense this is a depressing place, and after a very intense few days we had just started to unwind so the shock was hard to take. One area (surprisingly, not the raw meat) conjured up memories of my illness and made me feel queasy so we left after a short while.

Now I’m tired physically from fighting for my health, tired mentally from finding simple and interpreter-friendly answers to a stream of curly questions, tired emotionally from hearing and relating with these lovely eager and hard to refuse people, tired spiritually from straining to keep upbeat and missing time on my own in a comfortable place.

Home of the local World Vision Director
Tbeng Meanchey, Preah Vihear province
Cambodia

By the evening I was able to keep down drugs and to sleep, both of which I indulged in. The next morning I tottered to breakfast and started the day with half an eternal roll. These bread rolls are made from some wonderful stuff in a magic way that enables the seller to always tell you they’re fresh, because never actually go stale. Marvellous invention this UHT bread.

Our original brief for this trip was that we would help out by labouring on the house-cum-community centre. A week before we left however, the local people decided that they were quite able to build houses thank you very much, but they would like some theological instruction if you don’t mind, and by the way we’re inviting 150 people from outer regions too. Most of us were utterly unprepared for this, and certainly not overly qualified. But this is how it was to be done, as the community wanted it.

The previous day while I was going on the psychological journey of every ill person left to their own devices, the rest of the team divided themselves into which groups they would take: World Vision Staff, pastors & lay-leaders, younger people, and fence builders. The fence builders did actually build a good long fence; the only ones who did any real work. . The rest of the groups had fun answering questions like “Who is God anyway?”, “What is Grace?”, “Why does God love sinners?”, “Why did God make Satan?” and many more.

I slotted in with the younger crowd on the Friday when I’d returned to health. I was disappointed to see the sessions seemed to take on a school-teacher sort of vibe on the part of our team leading, but the participants didn’t seem too bothered.

I had the chance to lead a session in the afternoon and I took on quite an ambitious, but I thought very important passage on freedom. Gal 5:1-13 is a beautiful piece of writing where Paul tells the good people of Galatia that Christ set them spiritually free entirely, from sin and death, but also from The Law (of the Israelites; circumcision is the symbol of The Law, as mentioned in the passage) and any regulations. There are zero requirements for becoming and staying a Christian of freedom. The key observation is that if this freedom is used to sin then we are once again slaves; rather our freedom is to server others. I thought this was pertinent because during the earlier sessions a few things were said by the participants that suggested that they felt pressured to do or not do some things in order to be “right with God”. Anyway, it took some slog, including a brief history of Israel and some doubling back (the interpreter saying “yes we understand: we must go to church”. Slap head. OK let’s try another angle) but hopefully some good seed was planted. They related well to the encouragement given from the fact that Paul was imprisoned and being persecuted at the time for preaching such radical freedom.

Our good mate the interpreter later told me that it wasn’t too advanced for some, and one of our group’s pastors who has experience here said it was worth tackling because of the legalism being taught everywhere here.

Certainly the sessions were integral in both our experience and that of the local people. Even those dis-interested in the content took the opportunity to practice their English.

We did a session on the Christian creed that unites all denominations around the world and across time also. We gave encouragement to those struggling with faith – both to continue with struggles in an honest way no matter the outcome (you should be sure, whatever you believe), and to not feel at all ashamed that you want to ask questions – in fact that should be encouraged of all people always.

Lunches and dinners have been provided for us here – provided for all people who came for the few days. After dinner is always an hour or more of full-on church. These Cambodians get into their singing and clapping and stuff, and good on them. Kind of wears out us Westerners who have already had long days trying to not act as gurus while trying to cover hundreds of questions.

Today was a big day. There was a Ribbon Cutting Ceremony for the Community Centre, followed by a big Holy Communion service, followed by a wedding! The wedding was a happy shamozzle all over. Many things about it were Western, but there was also a nice Khmer flavour that the photos show nicely.

Room 23, "Prum Tep Guest House"
Tbeng Meanchey, Preah Vihear province
Cambodia

We finally made our way over to the Community Centre, and it was an impressive sight. After all the ramshackle huts and house we'd passed, this certainly looked like one of the better ones. We looked around inside and all of us were commenting on how nice it was. There was electricity and lights and fans all over the place. They had a brand new whiteboard and some sleeping mats that we sat on. That was all for furnishings – the walls were all planks of hardwood so all wiring was exposed, but it felt very solid to walk in, was quite cool and really made us feel the fundraising was worthwhile. The house had been raised 1.2m and concreted underneath after purchase. Out the back two rooms had been added on so up to 10 kids from the remote areas could come to live while they attended the only high school in the province.
We dined on fresh lychees, rambutan and logan fruit as well as some exotic-type cooking.

After meeting and talking briefly with the 4 pastors from around the area we went for lunch over to the same place we dined last night. Not wanting to deal with all manner of bones that I would never have associated with poultry, I steered away from the chicken this time.
At our table was one of the pastors whose stuttering English filled more time in the conversation than any small talk we could have made (a commonly handy part of most conversations here). And still through all that we heard his remarkable story. Originally born in Phnom Penh, he escaped to right on the Vietnamese border when the Khmer Rouge Regime came to power. There he was a driver ("with a gun!" he said) of transport trucks and survived relatively alright. He is now the last of his family still alive, but while out near Vietnam was married and had his first son. After the Khmer Rouge Regime he returned to Phnom Penh where he worked on roads for the Ministry of Telecommunications & Transport, then at a Duty Free shop where is ability to speak 4 or 5 languages made him most employable. After 10 years there he managed to save a whopping US$100,000 while supporting his wife and 4 children.
Where his family were living just so happened to be directly next to a missionary's household. He heard them mention "Jesu" often, and went in to find out more about this "Jesu" business that he had come across before. Soon after, in 2002, he became a converted Christian, packed up his family, left his job and headed out to Preah Vihear (the poorest province) to do what he could to feed and help people there and spread the Gospel. Since then he's lost all of his savings – spent trying to start a small pig farm, and paying for fuel, food and medicines for the villages he visits every week – each on 100kms from his home in different directions (remember the "roads" are glorified dirt tracks – 100kms takes anywhere from 3 to 6 hours to travel).
He is a very friendly man with a pleasant (even across cultures) sense of humour, and an ever-optimistic outlook. He is passionate about what he does and the glow he emits when talking about it is quite fulfilling for those listening.

After lunch we went to visit an orphanage. The children were happy and well organised. This orphanage is Christian-run and has the support of churches in other countries. They sang and danced for us, and then we sang for them, our leader spoke briefly, then we handed them out gifts that team-members had brought along: home-made carry-bags and dolls, toys, books, lollies. The kids were ecstatic and so humble and thankful. It was very much like I imagine a small country school to be, but I had to remind myself that these children don't have a family to go home to , they sleep in a building out the back.

Back into the World Vision ute trays we piled, and on to a brief visit to one of the churches our lunch-mate-pastor looked after. As with other places we've been, people came from miles around to see the novelty. The novelty for us was a pet baby monkey that one of the kids there had! We took a number of photos, but the children there were as astonished as we were that we were astonished at all.
For breakfast that morning we had wandered around the corner to a place that was warned we were coming and had prepared baguettes and eggs for us instead of the local usual rice or noodles. On our way back a heard of cattle were out roaming the street and someone commented that we should bring our cameras tomorrow to take a photo of such an oddity. Pointing to a few locals who were lining the side of the road I commented that if they had them then they would also perhaps be bringing their cameras tomorrow too. Our group of 18 is said to be the largest single contingents of westerners to visit the town (perhaps even province). For reasons along those lines we are only staying 5 days here.

The next stop for the afternoon was the provincial (ie gov't/state run) orphanage. This was hugely different from the one we visited earlier. The children weren't in uniforms or lined up straight. They looked at us with more than a little bewilderment, though it was heartening to see they were still child-like and would smile and play face-pulling games from across the room. The problem here wasn't the poor treatment, but rather abject poverty.
The government administrator in charge of the orphanage started by apologising for not knowing how to deal with so many and this type of visitor. He then explained the nature of orphanages in the area. At the present time there are ~96 children within the province identified as having nowhere else to go (this is after private orphanages like the one we visited earlier are filled). For those children there are 2 or 3 provincial orphanages in the province, this one being the largest with 27 children. Quite aghast, someone later asked what is happening with the 50-60 children without a place to go? They are left sort of "hanging" in the meantime.
The orphanage received US$4.25 monthly for each girl and US$3.75 for each boy. And that's it. Food, accommodation, teaching, health care must all come from that.
We handed out gifts again, including packs of activity sheets and lollies that the local churches put together, and a couple of the ladies made balloon animals. We gave just about everything else we had to these beautiful children.
They took us outside and showed us the small garden where the children learn how to grow different types of crops and food. They had fun demonstrating the use of their water pump.
One of the younger boys read a thank you letter, and we had to be off. Visiting this place prompted a bit of questioning among the group as to whether the community centre was at all the best use of funds. All we could come up with was that the need for the centre was identified by the local community (or at least the Christian part of it?) and more than a few people resolved to raise money for this cause upon returning home.
As an aside, World Vision's policy in this area is (I think) quite forward thinking. Children need an orphanage when the community can't support them, so their idea is to try and build up the communities to a standard where they can handle some children without parent, rather than removing the children from their homes and placing them in an institution that relies entirely on outside funding.

Next stop was an unscheduled stop at the World Vision Demonstration and Exhibition farm. In January last year the government donated 2 hectares to World Vision to start this farm where people can come to learn the best ways to farm in the difficult Cambodian climate.
Rain in Cambodia doesn't fall for the entire dry season. Between the end of September 2004 and the start of June 2005 Tbeng Meanchey received 2mm fall from a freak storm in January, and that wasn't at all helpful.
Here at this farm, they're trialling a new type of rice that matures in 3 months, allowing for a second crop to be planted at the end of the wet to grow through the dry – sugar was given a go last dry, and proved successful if planted early enough.
Something else they're growing is a natural Malaria cure. Recently scientifically proven to cure malaria this plant is extremely rare. World Vision is experimenting with how to grow it here, so each household may be given some so that they might even eradicate this disease that's rife in the province.
On the land is also a small pig farm, and some chickens and ducks. The ducks were brought in to keep the flies down and are actually easier to keep (less disease) than the chickens, even though there is no pond for them.
This work is extremely exciting for those working there – most of whom are casual volunteers from local villages. Anyone is free to come and look at the farm and twice a year formal sessions are run over a few days for farmers to come and learn. The biggest challenge for the World Vision team is breaking the traditional mindset of "we can only grow rice and only in the wet".

After the farm we visited another church where we encountered some familiar songs from back home an some more happy and enthusiastic faces.

Then it was over to the community centre again for "Celebration Dinner and Fellowship". The dinner was hardcore Cambodian "party food" as one Khmer at our table put it. Seafood soup with "Chinese Storm Flower", mixed seafood and vege something, and a ginger flathead (the whole thing) was on each table. All quite different from anything we'd had so far, and quite lavish by local standards.

Room 23, "Prum Tep Guest House"
Tbeng Meanchey, Preah Vihear province
Cambodia

After helping plant the tree (this is still all on Tuesday), we drove the final 75kms to Tbeng Meanchey, arriving not long before dark to a hotel that doesn’t look too shabby from the outside. Inside is quite amusing, the spaghetti electrical wires complete with burned out fuse sockets raised some nervous chuckles.

Glad to be at our main destination, we settled in then wandered over to the only eatery within walking distance capable of feeding 18 foreigners. Food there was fine and the experience was as much of a culture-shock for them as it was for us. Meals were US$1 each, 50c for soft drinks, 75c for a beer, 25c for bottled water. Bargain.

The next morning (yesterday at time of writing) seems so far away – so much has happened since then, much of it hard to take in. We were fortunate to be invited to meet the Governor of Preah Vihear (the local equivalent of Peter Beattie). He was in Phnom Penh at the time though, so we met with the deputy governor, the provincial administrator and a couple of other deputies or ministers or something that was lost in translation. They were kind enough to hear from each of us were we were from, and the deputy governor joined in our state-wars saying he loves Queensland too.
Very diplomatically he went on to tell us we are all brothers and sisters of humanity and we are all here to help each other. He then recounted to us that a few weeks ago some Christians defiled one of the local Buddhist statues because it was from a different religion. He asked us to use the Community Centre for all local people, not just Christians. Our leader responded that those responsible for defacing and destroying the statue are "not our brothers in Christ" , that we come in peace and serving to the whole community, and that though the Community Centre is not ours, we have and do encourage those responsible for ti to make it available for all people (and in public speeches he does recommend its use without discrimination, which was always the team's understanding too).
The Deputy Governor thanked us warmly and offered to be of any assistance he could and suggested that if we could spare a half a day at some point then he could organise a tour of the temples of the Preah Vihear province. "Preah Vihear" literally means "God's Temple", and the temples in this province are even older and more numerous, if less uncovered than those at Angkor (in the Seam Reap province) which are at the moment the popular tourist destination.

Room 23, "Prum Tep Guest House"
Tbeng Meanchey, Preah Vihear province
Cambodia

Before heading to Tbeng Meanchey from lunch, we took a detour and visited "New Big Ricefield Village", an area where the poorest of the poor (as identified by the people themselves) are given a house, some (pretty rough, but demined) land, teaching about farming and organising a community, and some fruit tree saplings from World Vision. As a friendly gesture we helped plant the fruit trees. Each household grabbed (or ran off with in the case of one young girl!) one of our team and we did very basic placing-the­-plant-in­-the-soil-and-watering with them. The family I was with then invited me up into their house and we sat for a while, playing interlingual charades/pictionary and basically trying to make a lick of sense to eachother. I got a photo with my new mate that I said I would send a copy of to him. It was quite clever the way he asked they asked me to "send a copy"!

I'm already a few days behind (haven't yet got to our arrival in Tbeng Meanchey), hopefully there'll be time to catch up soon…

Room 23, "Prum Tep Guest House"
Tbeng Meanchey, Preah Vihear province
Cambodia

Today was a stark change. For one thing we were up bright and early. For another we left within 20mins of the planned time. And after that things got really different.

We left Phnom Penh completely, heading for the northern province of Preah Vihear and its 'provincial town' of Tbeng Meanchey. The road is "one of the worst in Cambodia" according to the Lonely Planet Guide and the legend of it was enough to have a few people worried and most taking precautionary drugs.
Our car was great. The driver was actually quite slow which was a major factor in the easy-on-the-stomach stakes, and we had a ball of a time laughing and singing and nattering away.

Lunch was at an… interesting little place. Quite fancy for the area; very little out of Phnom Penh was anything other than hut on sticks of some variety. The ice was no good (and avoided) and the food was cold by the time our car arrived, but the atmosphere was friendly and the people were quite interested in the 5 cars of white expats who just rocked up.

The road was not at all as bad as expected, but still the cause for merriment and interest. In one "puddle" in the road we had to sit and wait for a buffalo to get out. At another place we were held up by a dump truck dropping a load of soil on the track, and then longer for the grader to level it enough for us to drive over (two passes and she'll be right mate). Roadworks were everywhere, and there was no telling the conditions around the next corner, but our driver was supremely conpetent and the early 90s Camry (with raised suspension) was actually quite up to the task!

Room 23, "Prum Tep Guest House"
Tbeng Meanchey, Preah Vihear province
Cambodia

What a great day yesterday. Us younger ones revelled in the opportunity to be tourists. We spent 4 hours at the Russian Markets, learning the system and getting average deals for lesser or illegal stuff. What we learned upon returning: cheap is not cheap unless you get it for a third of the asked price; and silk is not silk unless you pay through the nose. Scarves are beautiful, and certainly the gift of choice.
There are two great cafes – "Jars of Clay" and "Café Yejj" – near the markets that are a westerner's haven, and we visited Yejj twice for espresso and milkshakes, cos it gets really quite hot and tiring in such tight spaces under a big roof.

Your neighbourhood friendly tuk-tuk driver (or one of the hundreds) is always on hand to take you everywhere you might (or not) desire, and our next desire was the National Museum.
It's not the world's greatest museum, most of the displays are incomplete and/or dated back to an "unknown period", but the gist is still beautiful and there are some great photos (of Angkor Wat) and it's a nice building if nothing else.

We skipped on the palace (which I later regretted…), opting instead to go back to the hotel and chill/rest for a bit. A couple of us foolishly tried one of the cheap Internet cafes which was perhaps the only dampner (and biggest waste of 1500 riel) of the day.

For dinner it was down to the river to Café Bali.
The Mekong River is remarkable in that you can sit by it in April and see it flowing steadily in one direction, then come bac to the same spot in August and find it flowing the other way. None of the locals will share your concern however because this is perfectly normal. For half the year the river flows towards the vast inland Tonle Sap Lake, and after the wet season it flows back out towards the sea. Who said rivers can only go one way.

All in all it was perhaps our best day that far. Markets, tripling up on the back of scooters, a bit of culture, dinner, everything.

I'll write later tonight about today.

Room 23, "Prum Tep Guest House"
Tbeng Meanchey, Preah Vihear province
Cambodia

An emotional day.
I was reading Bill Bryson for the first time since arriving and soon found mysel laughing so intensely I had tears and came to think that perhaps they weren't brough on entirely by the book. It really I shard to see and grasp such attrocities then to turn and let go and not be afected.

Room 405 “Golden Gate Hotel”
Phnom Penh
Cambodia

Wanting some time to myself again I’ve wandered over to the other restaurant next to the hotel. It’s on the same side as where I was yesterday, but it’s so small that I didn’t notice it at first. French Fries and Garlic Bread on their way.

It’s difficult to write about today.
This morning we went to church. We boarded the bus we hired for the day and were going along just fine when the driver pulled over and mounted the kerb in front of a long green metal fence. At the end of the fence was an alley running slightly down hill for a couple of hundred metres. It was an alley in the Oliver Twist-slum sense, and down it we went. At the end of the alley was an open area for the four or five railway lines running along it. We turned left and followed the lines for only a hundred metres or so and we found ourselves in front of one of the slum-looking places with a sign on the front proclaiming Jesus as Saviour and advertising itself as a church. Down the steps to our left were 25 or so children who waved excitedly and said “Hello!”
Some of us spent time with the children, acting out bible stories and teaching songs (with the help of a patient interpreter). Then some of them sang for us too. Inside the church the atmosphere was open and cheerful. Musical accompaniment was in the form of a young man handling two fancy keyboards worth of backing – drums, chords and melody. Singing was poor but very heartfelt. People interacted with each other and the speaker throughout the service. The “passing of the peace” turned into a morning chat. The people were all friendly and happy to be there, and happy to chat afterwards.

We didn’t realise straight away, but the hut we were in was on stilts over the river! At the back was a door with a view over the green water to the other huts on he other side, and up and down and around the bend. “Morning Glory” was growing behind one hut, and there was rubbish under another. Some children came paddling past on a large mattress-sized piece fo foam, laughing and having a great time.


This afternoon we visited the memorial museum and killing fields of S21. S21 was a high school that the Khmer Rouge turned into a prison and torture-house, and the killing fields is the place 15kms out of town where the prisoners were taken to be killed. Over 20000 people were estimated to have gone through S21 and there are 7 known survivors. The killing fields have a monument holding 8985(?) skulls of bodies that have been dug up. Less than have of the “mass graves” area has been dug up and even walking around the grounds you see and walk on lots of surfacing bones and clothing that haven’t been excavated.

S21 itself is very unpleasant. Some rooms have been left as they were found, with torture implements sitting on steel bed frames. Other levels of the buildings have the makeshift brick cells – too small to lie down in – still erect in what was once a classroom. Quite a few levels contain photos of all the people taken through, and paintings of some tortures. There was no gender or age discrimination on the part of the tormentors. Elderly folk as well as children were all photographed and imprisoned, to be killed soon if lucky.

“EU Food”
next to “Golden Gate Hotel”
Phnom Penh
Cambodia