Our return chopper pilot was less keen to do tricks – apparently it makes him queezy. But he still obliged us with one though – a steep climb and then from the crest a drop straight down.
Back in town we had lunch with a couple of the girls from the hike, but needed have bothered shouting them (at least not for Bryce’s sake). We got in some sleep though, and then that evening jumped in the car bound for Fox Glacier where our mates from the Connections tour were having a karaoke night.

The road from Franz Joseph to Fox is windy and great for anyone with a half decent car to cruise around. We had to stop along the way however because of strange noises coming from the car. Quite embarrassing really, but we couldn’t figure it out so I just drove like a granny for the rest of the way.
At Fox we found the guys and got in and had some fun. The drinks were cheap (even if they didn’t have scotch) and soon enough we were up and singing our crazy little hearts out. I certainly enjoyed catching up with Susanne again too, and some of our outdoor antics caused some tittering and ribbing for a week or two to come.
Bryce “drove” us back to Franz Joseph, though I more credit guardian angels for returning us safely.

Up in the morning and we drove through Fox again as we made our way to Queenstown.

The next morning our charge was to make it to the Franz Joseph Glacier in time for our heli-hike tour. We arrived with oodles of time and in high spirits after stopping off to see lots of the beautiful landscapes along the way and finding this hotel was particularly nice. Franz Joseph is a pleasant little tourist town with not a whole lot going on, but no over-the-top presumptions or glamour either.
The heli-hike was great! We asked the chopper pilot on the way up to do some stunts and he willingly obliged, making me grateful I hadn’t eaten lunch yet. Flying over and landing on the glacier gave us a new perspective and a better indication of its size – these things really are massive sheets of ice.
We landed on the glacier, met by our guides and off we trekked. To be honest, although this was probably the highlight of the NZ trip so far, it wasn’t quite what I expected. It was a warm day in the middle of summer so it was a boon to be walking over and through ice at all, but I was naïve and expected more ice-cave walking just like the brochure and website photos. Not that the experience was any short of fantastic!
A glacier is an amazing creature, bordering on a living organism in the way it moves and change and affects what’s around them. Beautiful and fascinating all in one.

The mud slide ride was sold to us as a nearly dodgy potentially dangerous activity. It was straightforward enough: walk up a hill and slide down on a matt over naturally smoothed rocks that were naturally coated in mud off a natural small ledge into a naturally shallow pool. Nature had also provided a set of hand-grips to help you shimmy across the slope to the starting spot, and a large low hanging branch near the bottom to keep you from coming to a stop on the soft dirt if you run off the slide area.

Our instructions were exacting and it was very clear that we should understand the risks before sliding. It was at this point that Steve and I thought the better of the whole idea, and decided not to slide. Bryce had pulled out long before (his mental abilities had allowed him to see that he was not up for anything like this), but us three watched every other bloke on the tour have a go. The Taiwanese guys were, again, in over their head – the first one doing exactly, to the letter, what we were instructed to not do, seemingly ignoring the demonstration and warnings, and was lucky to neither break his tailbone nor cop a punch in the mouth from Mitch (our guide) for being an idiot.
After the caving expedition we were treated to muffins and beer in a hot spa bath – quite sporting we felt.

At the recommendation of Mitch we went up to a place called “Parky’s” for fish and chips, a dinner Greymouth is renowned for. I can say with all certainty that Parky’s sells the single worst fish and chips I’ve ever had the displeasure of trying. We were surprised enough at first when we asked what the freshest fish they could serve us was and were told “nuh, it’s all frozen ey. We just thaw it and fry it!”.
Anyway, it was terrible, but we did actually eat some of it and we soon stopped our grumbling as we headed out along the drive north of Greymouth (the ‘Top 5’ recommended us).
This drive is really really beautiful. We stopped the car along the way, wherever we were particularly taken, and also at a circular path going out to the ocean where there were pancake rocks and blow holes. Our main aim through was to reach the end of the Truman Track for the sunset. We parked the car and hurried for the ocean. Just as we got close we saw a whole lot of people returning along the path oohing and aahing about catching the best sunset of their lives.
Disappointed but not quite disheartened we pushed onwards and were treated to a really lovely twilight, watching blowholes and admiring the colours and shapes in the sky.
After a short while we returned to the car while twilight still lit our way, and jovially returned to our Greymouth hotel.